Are you having that 'not so fresh' feeling????

If you have experienced emotional dryness, itching or other uncomfortable symptoms, you could be being mis-handled by a DB  ("douchebag" for the layman).

Here are some ways to determine if the person is truly exhibiting DB behavior or if there has just been a simple misunderstanding.

I once had a date who cancelled a date with me just an hour and a half before the date was scheduled to occur.  I am one of the rarest of girls who puts about 15 minutes of effort into getting ready after emerging from the shower (it's not that I'm really hot, it's that I just don't care) so, in keeping with my "I really don't give that much of a shit" attitude, I had yet to start when I received the call. If I were one of those people who are painstaking about their appearance and don't have the "I just emerged from bed and ran out of foundation" look like I do, I would have been really pissed. He called the following day and said he had food poisoning and that he felt really terrible and tried like hell to not cancel which was why he waited until the last minute to let me know. I never went out with him. Even if the excuse was bullshit it was an explanation that temporarily suspended my disbelief. I gave him the benefit of the doubt on it.

On the other hand, I once had a guy make plans with me to come over for dinner (our third or fourth date). I spoke with him earlier in the day to confirm the time. He asked what he could bring. "I'll get the groceries and you just bring a bottle of wine for us to share," said my uber-giving, desperate-to-please self. Yeah well....tick tock tick tock.....he no-called, no-showed. Just like that. Zero to DOUCHE in 20 minutes. Not only did he waste my time and my money on groceries, but he didn't even show up with the wine so I could get a nice healthy buzz as I was crying in my six months worth of leftover chicken parm. Have you ever had someone say something to you that was such a lie that you just couldn't believe you were hearing it? Well that was his excuse. "My ex-girlfriend came over to my house and trashed it, and I was picking up pieces of my laptop and possessions all night". Really dude? A text cancelling (still a DB move) takes 10 seconds. It may be hard to believe but I was more insulted by the flimsy excuse than the actual no-call no-show. I didn't respond to him ever again in life and stuck his imaginary voodoo doll with pins that evening. I still do sometimes, just to get some sort of sick pleasure in the fact that it might cause him to double over in pain from my fantasy kick to the balls.

I think one of the worse things we do to each other as humans is ignore someone when we can't face uncomfortable truths about the relationship. Nothing feels worse than when we are left hanging not knowing what to do because some idiot plays fast and loose with our feelings. What ever happened to courtesy? If you don't like someone anymore and have spent some time with that person, grow a pair and tell them you don't want to be more than friends with them. Or if you aren't that into them, don't freaking keep making plans with them and leading them on (if you know they are truly interested in you).

If you ever find yourself the victim of any form of douchebaggery, step back, assess the behavior, and imagine yourself slapping that person's mom (this emotional issue is learned somewhere), and give yourself the choice. A. Do I want to be the person who teaches this emotional numb nuts how to treat me? Or B. Do I want to try to find someone who can put their big boy or girl pants on and be honest with me about where we stand if it's uneven?

If you choose A, be prepared to take a pretty big risk on a person who has already proven to be, well, a DB, and completely careless with your feelings.

I hope you're feeling a little fresher now lovelies. Love and peace.

ESJ